Anxiety and Perfectionism

For perfectionists, working hard can reap tangible rewards. Maybe you’ve always received good grades or had positive work reviews. This can make it feel like perfectionism is working.

However, under the surface it may feel like you’re never enough. No matter what you achieve, there is always something more to do. The pressure to be perfect can affect parenting, relationships, school, work, health, and body image.

If you’re struggling with perfectionism, you’re not alone. We’re constantly receiving messages about how to improve ourselves. Even therapy can get caught in the perfectionist cycle. The pressure to meditate the right amount or create a good sleep routine just adds to the stress.

Therapy can help you create a different relationship with your anxiety. I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS), and somatic therapy. What does that acronym salad mean? A lot of it boils down to: accepting feelings of anxiety rather than trying to make them go away. Our instinct is often to avoid our feelings, and perfectionism can be a protective strategy to avoid feelings of failure or shame. When we sit with our feelings, we can get more comfortable with them. Then we don’t have to engage in as many of the protective strategies.

Body image

A note on body image—there is an incredible amount of pressure in our culture to look a certain way. Therapy can help you ditch society’s beauty norms. I believe in a body positive, fat positive, and HAES (Health at Every Size) approach.