What is sex therapy?

Sex therapy is a branch of talk therapy. I also practice somatic therapy, which is a way to explore the mind/body connection and process how emotions show up in the body. Sex therapy can include trauma processing around sexual, religious, medical, or relational experiences.

Many people grew up with shaming messages around sex from their family or culture. Then people enter adulthood and experience pressure from the other side—that they need to be having all the great sex and orgasms. This can leave people feeling like they don’t have an opportunity to explore sex on their terms, figuring out what they authentically want.

Treatment for sexual symptoms or pain

It’s common for folks to experience sexual symptoms over their lifetime, yet many people feel alone and isolated. Sex therapy can help folks experiencing mind body symptoms like pelvic pain, difficulty orgasming, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, low desire, or low pleasure.

These issues are often influenced by emotions like anxiety, pressure, guilt, or shame. The mind and body are connected, and when someone feels anxiety about sex or sexual symptoms, their nervous system is more likely to go into fight or flight. This keeps someone from feeling relaxed, so their body is more likely to produce the symptom (pain, low desire, ED, premature ejaculation). It’s a cycle, where the more someone fears the outcome, the more likely it is to happen.

Using approaches from Pain Reprocessing Therapy, we can work on regulating the nervous system. We can work on reducing anxiety about the symptom and practicing acceptance. We can also talk about practical ways to reduce pressure and make sex feel safe. These practices can help the nervous system get out of fight or flight and the fear/symptom cycle. Ultimately, symptoms can reduce over time.

sex therapy for couples

Many couples experience a sexual disconnect and they don’t how to address it. It’s common for partners to have a desire discrepancy and fall into the “pursuer distancer” dynamic. The pursuer might feel like their needs aren’t being met and their drive is too high. The distancer might feel like they can’t meet their partner’s needs and they’re not enough. Both partners can feel stress, guilt, shame, and like there’s something wrong with them or their relationship. I work to help couples get out of the pursuer distancer cycle.

EXPLORING IDENTITY

Identity and desires can change over time. Therapy is a safe space for people to explore their sexual orientation, gender identity, or relationship structure. I am part of the queer community, trans affirming, and kink and poly friendly.